Am I a perfectionist?

Perfection?

Am I a perfectionist? I would have thought not. Though, why as I struggle to write this blog post, is nothing that I write good enough for me? I find fault with every sentence. Is that perhaps a mirror for me of how I see myself in the deep dark recesses of my mind? Not good enough?

It’s worth investigating.

On the face of it I am successful. I am confident. I have enjoyed many achievements in my life.  Why do I find it so hard then, to put pen to paper on what is in my heart, out to the world? Is there possibly a semblance of truth in that? Will I then ever be good enough?      

And yet, I have revealed ‘me’ to the world in the book I have completed (and published), “I Stand Naked Before You” obtainable at: 

https://colleen-bain-o-donnell.mykajabi.com/…/nzDS…/checkout - paperback copy

amazon.com/author/colleenodonnell - digital copy:    

A major problem I discovered, is in ‘comparing’. It must be one of our greater ‘sins’. If we compare ourselves to others we will always find a ‘better’ or ‘lesser’. Will we ever ‘match up?’  And secretly, we all do - compare.

This is a tough one to answer.

Accept yourself as you are right now because mostly we don’t. There are so many external voices, opinions, old beliefs, society’s demands that we buy into, and thus deprive ourselves of experiencing and enjoying our uniqueness – our own beautiful authentic selves.

I recently went through photos of yesteryear and while looking at ‘me’ at four, and twelve, and twenty and forty, and plus, plus, I felt sad. Sad that I had denied me. When I was always ‘too much this or too little that’ – just never good enough. With hindsight, those pics showed me different stages of a beautiful being whom I had denied.

And so, I look into the mirror today - honestly -  and notice a droop here, and a wrinkle or ten there and so much, that by today’s standards could be found fault with, and know, now know, that what I see is in ME in this moment - is beauty in all my imperfections.

How privileged and grateful I am to have traveled this journey thus far and experienced the bounty of this beautiful planet, and still be here to tell the tale.

The Point?

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

The Enneagram opened up a can of worms and threw some light on my beliefs and behaviors.  I discovered I am indeed a 'Type 1' The Perfectionist/Reformer. Everything fell into place and finally I had some insights into my unconscious behaviors. Want to know about yours? What makes you tick?

Check out my coaching programs: https://www.coachingforpositiveimpact.com/life-purpose-and-enneagram-coach 

Know this. NEVER COMPARE. You are unique and perfect exactly as you are – right now.   

The Law of Perfection.(Dan Millman)

From a transcendental perspective, everyone and everything is unconditionally perfect; from a conventional point of view, perfection doesn’t exist – excellence is the best we can achieve, and achieving it takes time and practice.